Types of Abusive Behaviour: Know the Signs

A lack of knowledge can mean we don’t know what action to take, perpetuating both domestic violence and sexual assault. We hope by knowing about the types of abusive behaviours often demonstrated by perpetrators of abuse, you can feel more able to support someone who may be in need.

Types of abusive behaviour can include but are not limited to:

Economic/Financial Abuse

Threats and intimidation

Threats:

– Verbal or written threats to harm or kill you

– Verbal or written threats to harm or kill your children or other family members, friends, pets

– Verbal or written threats to kill themselves

– Verbal or written threats to find you wherever they go after separation

– Verbal or written threats to have a partner ‘sectioned’ under the Mental Health Act

– Verbal or written threats to report partner to social services or immigration authorities

– Verbal or written threats to turn others against the partner

– Verbal or written threats to leave partner

– Verbal or written threats to ‘out’ partner’s sexuality/gender identity to employers

– Threats of violence sent via social media

Intimidation:

– Being stalked or watched, or in any way having your movements monitored

– Receiving letters, emails, messages, or getting phone calls to harass or scare you

– Having your property damaged

– Being reminded of previous abuse or violence

Isolation

– Being prevented from leaving the house or your movements are restricted

– Being prevented from learning to drive, or using the car or transport

– Being prevented from using the phone/social media

– Being humiliated in front of friends, family, or in public

– Being denied access to medication, mobility aids or outside assistance

– Having your immigration status used to control you

– Being prevented from learning English or any other language necessary for social interaction

Emotional Abuse

– Being humiliated and called names by your partner

– Constantly being accused of having an affair

– Having you gender/transgender status belittled

– Being criticised about your domestic or partner skills

– Being undermined or interrogated

– Being made to feel guilty by your partner

– Being told that no one else will ever want you if they leave – undermining your confidence

– Being told that nobody will believe you if you report the abuse

Using the children to control and abuse

Denial, minimalising and blaming

– Having the abuse partially or totally denied by the abuser

– Being told by the abuser that the abuse is not a big deal

– Being told the abuse is justified by the abuser

– Being told by the abuser that you are imagining the abuse

– Being blamed for the abuse by the abuser, or having them blame someone else

– Other people being told that the injuries of your abuse are in fact due to your own clumsiness

Physical Abuse

Sexual Abuse

– Rape

– Being made to engage in sexual behaviour without your consent

– Being made to engage in sexual behaviours which you do not like

– Having violence threatened against your children

– Being forced to have sex with others

– Being forced into prostitution

– Being stopped from using contraception by your partner

– Being forced to have an abortion or alternatively stopped from being able to have one

– Being made to wear revealing clothes, or made to cover up your body

– Having affection withheld by your partner

– Being criticised by your partner for your sexual performance

– Being accused of having sex with other people

So called 'honour' based violence or forced marriage

Are you worried about yourself or someone you know?

Visit the Get Help page for a list of national and specialist resources, should you need support. Remember that if you or someone else you know is in immediate danger, call 999.

The Bright Sky app provides your nearest support service, which you can search for by area, postcode, or using GPS. The app also provides advice on how to help a friend or family member experiencing abuse, as well as a questionnaire to determine whether you may be in an abusive relationship.

Get Help